Have you ever tried to listen to someone but you failed to do so? You couldn’t keep concentrating on the listening and eventually you lost your interest? What are the things that cause those barriers? Here are some examples of why or how you may lose the contact with the speaker.
Listening to more than one conversation:
It happens sometimes that too many conversations are taking place around you and that causes you distraction. If you are in a room with a TV on and a radio talking and you are also on the phone talking with someone, you definitely get distracted by all those noise around you.
Finding the speaker attractive/unattractive:
The communicator is talking and all you get is nothing but the look at the speaker’s face. It happens either you are attracted or not attracted to the speaker. In both cases you don’t pay attention to the words coming out of his/her mouth. You only pay attention on the physical appearance of the speaker. So, that’s when you lose the conversation and go blank.
Disliking the topic:
It’s obvious if you don’t like the subject being talked about you don’t listen. As simple as that.
If your mind is anywhere but the speaker then you miss the points. You can be busy gazing out of the window or playing with your hair or nail…in other words you are everywhere but with the speaker. Then you are cut out.
Not feeling well:
For any reasons if you are not feeling good; e.g tired, hungry or thirsty you lose the conversation all right.
Sympathizing rather than empathizing :
Sympathy is not the same as empathy, you sympathies when you feel sorry for the experiences of another, to empathize is to put yourself in the position of the other person.
You are prejudiced or biased:
by race, gender, age, religion, accent, and/or past experiences.
When your mind is busy with different issues in your life then it’s not strange that you cannot concentrate on the speech or conversation.
Sudden Changes in Topic:
When the listener is distracted they may suddenly think about something else that is not related to the topic of the speaker and attempt to change the conversation to their new topic.
This occurs when the listener thinks they have heard the main points or have got the gist of what the speaker wants to say. They filter out what they perceive as being of key importance and then stop listening or become distracted.
Daydreaming can occur when the listener hears something that sets off a chain of unrelated thoughts in their head – they become distracted by their ‘own world’ and adopt a ‘far-away’ look.
Some people want to jump in early in a conversation and start to offer advice before they fully understand the problem or concerns of the speaker.
Along with all these distractors mentioned can come much more ones. All in all whatever keeps your mind away from the speaker makes you a bad listener.